Kat Stickler shared a recent video on TikTok about her experience with a fellow mother. She confessed that she was going to “mom shame” someone, before noting that the only other people she’s “mom shamed” before were herself and her own mother.
Before adding another parent to her list, she asked viewers if she was “entitled” or if what happened was “messed up”. In the video, she explained how she and her daughter noticed a group of children at a birthday party in a park.
“Two hours ago, literally right now, MK and I were at the park in our neighbourhood,” she said, referring to her daughter. “And it was us and this birthday group…These kids are having their birthday party. MK’s playing with them for half an hour. They’re making friends, it was nice. It was actually very cute.”
Stickler then explained that when it was time to sing happy birthday, her three-year-old joined the rest of the children at the party.
“She’s one of the group right now. They’re welcoming her with open arms,” she said. “Or, so I thought.”
When she noticed her daughter’s “intention of grabbing a piece of cake,” she decided to follow her child “to make sure it’s OK, as a formality.”
“Honestly, I was like, obviously it’s OK. It’s cake. It’s a massive cake. There’s lots of leftover pieces,” she explained.
However, Stickler said that the party host then stepped in and stopped MK from getting a slice of cake: “The mother takes the plate away from MK, and gets down to her level, says: ‘You cannot eat this cake, OK. This is not your birthday party. These are not your friends. Where’s your mother?’”
She concluded her video by placing her hands over her mouth, to show her shocked reaction to the parent’s comments.
As of 19 July, Stickler’s video has more than 14.7m views, with many people in the comments sympathising with MK. They also criticised the birthday host for how she spoke to the three-year-old.
“That’s so sad,” one wrote, while another added: “My jaw dropped.”
“The part that gets me is the ‘these are not your friends,’” a third wrote. “They’ve been playing for a half an hour. To kids, that’s friendship.”
Other people shared how they would have handled the situation if a child they didn’t know wanted a piece of cake at a party.
“I may have said, ‘Let’s check with your mom if it’s okay for you to have a piece?’ Allergies ya know. Then a new friend would have been given cake,” one wrote.
Another agreed: “The only appropriate response is, ‘Run and ask your mom if you’re allowed to have cake.’ Reengages the parent and gives you a second to count the slices.”
However, some people said that they wouldn’t have let their children hang out with the children at this birthday party in the first place.
“This is a hard spot. I wouldn’t have let my kids walk over personally. We weren’t invited and playing together at the park isn’t a invite to a private moment,” one wrote. “But also I would never take cake from a child and say that. I would’ve asked for mom first.”
“Personally I’d avoid the situation and move my kids,” another added. “I’m normally the one to encourage connections but not at a party my kid wasn’t invited to.
Speaking to Today, Stickler noted that after this incident happened, she took her child to get a dessert of her own. She also said that MK was “totally fine” after hearing the parent’s remark.
“People have been asking me, ‘What did you say to the mom?’ The mom was literally the least of my concerns,” Stickler explained. “I was worried about MK.”
The Independent has contacted a representative for Stickler for comment.